Dear Friends and Family,

Tonsillitis aside... here are some random thoughts, journal excerpts, pictures and even a video from my time in China.... --L

* My backpack is too heavy. Today I hoisted it on my back and imagined that if I were a Victorian lady traveler, I would be the type that wouldn't let my departure from "civilization" interfere with being "civilized." I'd probably wear velvet skirts and full petticoats, pack steamer trunks completely full, and end up hiring teams of "natives" and donkeys to escort me on my adventures.

* I'm having a horrible time rationalizing my delight with all things Western amongst this very Eastern country. Smack dab in the middle of coastal China, I find myself touring a German mansion, an English mansion, and a German-English founded brewery. I cringe as a pass running puddles from traditional food markets and have no interest in the Chinese parks or other tourist attractions. Truly, I don't want them to be us; but I am drawn like a magnet to the Western-built "Bund" (Shanghai), and I'm enthralled by the brand new malls that flash their Rolexes, Cartiers, Nikes, and Marks & Spencer. And then, of course, there is my pure, unadulterated joy at the sighting of a Starbucks!

* China is, of course, very different than Korea. And I'm homesick for Korea. I miss the language... I miss my friends... I miss kimbap shops... I miss convenience stores and cell phones and.... The Chinese people look different and I'm hard-pressed to describe how. Their faces seem rounder and seem to wrinkle earlier (no weekly visits to the jimjilbang in this country!) - and their clothing is lower quality and rather boring. There are beggars here - even gauntlets of sellers. But, the Chinese taxi drivers seem sane... which is rather makes for a rather nice change.

* Chinese men smoke all the time. And it is horrible. I'm constantly dodging smoldering cigarettes held by other pedestrians on sidewalks and stepping away from smoke being blown into my face. My eyes seem to sting all the time. Some countries loose entire generations of men from wars... I worry that China is going to loose an entire generation or two... from smoking.

* A lady traveler in Qingdao described Shanghai as horrible and polluted and loud. This description went with me to Shanghai... and I have to concede that this place feels loud. Yesterday, I stood in line to go into the Shanghai Museum while this lady behind me, shouted into her cell phone, yelled in my ear.

* It is hot here in Shanghai. Men bunch their shirts up past their tummies to just below their nipples, sweat pores from my forehead and women carry handkerchiefs as they walk down the streets. I spotted an older lady wiping herself with a magenta washcloth....

* Shanghai feels like Bangkok... only with more money and on speed.

* Walking through Shanghai's People's Square, I'm approached over and over. "Lady, you want watch?" "Lady, you want bag?" "Lady, DVDs. Very cheap." "You German, Lady? American? Lady???"

A "No" to these sellers always elicits, "I give you good discount."

An emphatic "No" causes the sellers to give an offended huff and to turn away but it is always footsteps away from, "Lady, you want...?"

* Shopping malls feel like home. Today I walked around wondering why. Shopping malls, even foreign ones, are beautiful to me. They make sense. Their windows gleam, their shelves beckon, their wares are beautiful: handmade leather bags, double-breasted coasts set off by brilliant scarves, arched shoes and tasteful jewelry. Shopping malls have no codes, nothing to puzzle over, no way to get lost. Interesting, really that I tour the unfamiliar and in my "spare time," find myself seeking the familiar.

* The people of Shanghai are surprisingly friendly. This is a start contrast to Beijing, in February, where the people were decidedly not. Granted, during my time in Beijing, the city was in the grip of freezing temperatures and cutting winds. But could I also describe Beijing as a city in the grip of a chilly government? It seems to me that if the Chinese government gripped Shanghai as it grips Beijing, it would ruin the city.

I am spending a lot of time puzzling about the differences between the people in the cities... in Beijing, people were unwilling to respond to smiles or greetings. Someone, I cannot recall who, commented that when one lives in a Communist country that determines one's job and who one can become, one might indeed loose openness of spirit (hence the lack of friendliness in Beijing). But China feels only nominally Communist... this country is not Communist Russia. I cannot see how a country that is as big as China, that is expanding as fast as China could be telling its people, "You will sell cream puffs." or "You will design airplanes." And, as I do not feel that the Chinese government is not particularly an idealist Marxist/Communist organization, then I must wonder: what motivates the Chinese government's actions? Does the government care for its people? This feels unlikely when the government doesn't seem to blink at tightening military control, running students down with tanks, beating Falun Gong protesters or killing monks. So what motivates the Chinese government? I can only suppose: power.

And my suppositions may not be far from wrong. During the August 2008 Beijing Olympics, Jon Stewart (that wise sage!) seated the author of Out of Mao's Shadow: The Struggle for the Soul of New China, Philip Pan on his show. And began interviewing Pan with an intriguing question to which Pan replied:

"I think that the government [of China] is trying to use the Olympics to prove to the people of China that a one party system can be just as effective as a democratic one."

Stewart then inquired, "...You think it is more important for them to prove it to China and their own people than to the world? Is this really more for their [the people of China's] benefit?"

"Yes, I think that is the priority right now. So when you have a situation like the one we had a few months ago in Tibet... you know, they looked terrible on the international stage but domestically they were a big hit. They were able to use the criticisms of what happened to bolster support for their government."

Stewart cracked a joke and then commented, "...we have this idea that somehow revolution is just bubbling below the surface of China's authoritarian government. That somehow the people very much want... but the people seem very proud of what their government has been able to accomplish."

Pan agreed. "Yes, you know the government's been very good at channeling the pride of the country into pride in the party itself. It is one of the reasons that they are in power. I think that the other reason is that they have been able to delivery tremendous economic growth over the last 30 years. Hundreds of millions of people have been lifted from poverty."

"How do you go from the Cultural Revolution... 1 and a half million people killed and sort-of this idea that they were trying to get towards Capitalism so they wiped out a bunch... to this idea that we can be a Capitalist system we'll just keep a little bit of our authoritarian government in place?"

"Well, this is the dilemma, I think, for the party right now. They say that they are a Communist Party but Communism as an ideology is really dead. They're struck a deal with the people, I think, that they'll deliver Capitalism and free market growth as long as they let us stay in power."

Also during that August 13, 2008 interview on The Daily Show, Pan said that in Beijing or Shanghai, people don't feel like they are living in Communist states. BUT my experience in China was somewhat different. Military police officers supervised our disembarkation at Qingdao and Peter Hessler (in Oracle Bones) writes of regular police visits to be avoided and walking through Tiananmen Square with it's intimidating number of police frankly gave me the willies. Between those observations of an authoritarian state and my own issues in obtaining a tourist Visa to visit China, I can only imagine the level of frustration that Hong Kong residents or Tibetans or Uighars or the Taiwanese feel... not to mention non-government sanctioned Christians - and reporters and...!

On a PBS FrontLine titled Shanghai Nights, reporter Nguyen Qui Duc says that he had heard that, "Young people, especially artists, no longer accept the old rules. And so I traveled to Shanghai to find out how can they push the limits?"

Nguyen noted that, "Young people once challenged the government openly. 15 years ago, young Chinese demanded democracy at Tiananmen Square in Beijing and 1000s were killed when the government cracked down. Now the young are no longer willing to stand in front of tanks and star big brother in the face." Instead, young people seem to be living by the rule: "Do what you want but keep it quiet."

As I travel through China, I wonder: do the majority of Chinese hate their government? What do Chinese people really want for themselves and for their country? I'd dearly like to ask everyone I meet these questions but I do not. I do not wish to get anyone in trouble with the Chinese government.

* One Friday evening in Shanghai, I picked my way through a crowd of Chinese peers in my hostel's cafe. They gathered around a television projection screen watching preparations for a space launch. The launch itself went off without a hitch and wasn't particularly notable... although the Chinese mission control operated behind a huge battery of computer monitors, each person wearing a military-like uniform and the broadcast showed the astronauts, strapped in and last minute procedure notes. What I found fascinating were the viewers of the launch... there seemed to be a ritual for watching space launches that included the expected count down but also standing and singing.

The next evening, September 27th, Chinese astronaut Zhai Zhi-gang opened the hatch of their space vehicle, tightened his grip on a Chinese flag, and walked into space - making China into the 3rd country to successfully complete a spacewalk. Zhai's walk was broadcasted live... and according to AGB Nielsen Media Research, more than half of Chinese households tuned in to witness history. After they landed safely on the grasslands of Mongolia, Zhai Zhi-gang emerged from the capsule to say, "It was a glorious mission, full of challenges with a perfect ending. I feel proud of the motherland."

And so it seems that the steely Chinese government continues to work on its "deal" to deliver Capitalism and national pride - in spades - to its people.